can't have one without the other

gratitudes after a hard 48 hours...
last moment with bird born on my porch
cleaning up the poop of baby birds
long-standing friendships
commitment of time
growing children, growing familiar
dealing with the differences
loving through the differences
road trip
hugging after a long separation
shared woes
doing something really, really, really hard
the something hard being over with

the relief that comes with honesty and communication
loving through ugliness
strength given when I am exhausted
adoration of husband increased even more
leadership in action
skillfulness of the tongue to guide sharp words into agreement
endurance beyond measure
hope beyond an ugly reality
our hopeless state
God's unending possibility with the willing heart
the power of prayer
loving another
being loved

the chase

Cat
sitting, peering down
twitch of tail,

waiting…
waiting…
waiting....
for the fight.

four baby mice sleeping, unknowing
that death is head-hovered.

waiting…
waiting…
waiting…
for Life to show itself.

it sniffs.

a turn of the head, a stumble-
Death readies itself for the pounce,
giving ample room for the flee,
amusement in the chase.

And I, seeing what will come
know that only in Living do we tempt Death.
It is the movement of the righteous
that causes the carnivore to salivate.
And only when we stop trying will he quit as well,
satisfied with our ineffective existence.

unending gratitudes...

sincere kiss of the happy child
child wonder at mommy’s small noon shadow
shifting shadows of late evening
open windows, gentle breeze
a short rest after working hard
restoring the finish of wooden furniture
squelching thirst with cold water
reading in the bath
having weed-eated
Hope in the Lord’s strength when weak
arranging fresh flowers
pruning that brings life
hum of the air conditioner on a humid day
believing in miracles
bird song
the company of a pet

when anxious and heavy in heart...

Psalm 34

I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.

My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,

keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.

Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry;

the face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;

he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

endless gratitudes...
wildflowers and turtle on the way home
muddy turtle footprints in sink
forgiveness & smiles of middle one
quiet after a long morning
bags of groceries to unload
sunshine calling me outdoors
run/waddle of small one
boy in jammies and boots
the naming of Walkfast (turtle)
shared anticipation of a good book

love and pain

pain for others loved
is worse than my own.
hands empty
words useless
prayers cold and awkward...
Hope lost for a moment as the weight of the world weighs down.
"do not be anxious" recalled;
obedience complicated and uncompromising,
yet required.
petitions fly
artless prayers stammered out-
tears fall freely to the floor.
Then the Counsel;
clear and precise
with calm resolve,
Guidance graciously given to the depleted mess of me.
and I begin again the endless list that directs me Home...

1398. "mommy, you're special" and
1399. sweet purity smile of my strawberry blond
1400. sunshine on back at picnic table
1401. weeds seen as beautiful treasures
1402. golden book stories with Eloise Wilkins pictures
1403. sister-play: coloring life-sized portraits
1404. Christ-love bond when in need
1405. the smell garlic bread
1406. being reminded that others have problems, too
1407. 1408. new batteries
1409. sweet song of head-phoned kids
1410. dishes that can wait until tomorrow
1411. heavy eyes when it's time to sleep
1412. memory verse soothing in the night